A day at the glass house
by Vitzy
Summary: The Glass House gang are at ends with each other. What could possibly have brought such hostility and bitterness between them. In case you were misled...it's ALL crack. this is a funny one-shot. Do read and review.


**Disclaimer: I am not Rachel Caine and therefore do not own these characters. But I do own this plot line.**

**A/N : First **_**ever 'funny' **_**MV fic, don't flame ^_^ For vicky199416. I **_**finally **_**wrote it, Vic! Haha.**

**So this is pure crackfic. Characters may be ooc!**

_A day at the Glass House._

"WHERE IS MY BLOOD, YOU BLITHERING HUMANS!" Michael screeches from the kitchen.

From the living room, where Claire and Shane had just been making out passionately (until Shane told Claire that she kisses like a wet fish and Claire told him the he kisses like Myrnin and then both had progressed to glaring at each other), comes a sigh.

Mind you, it's Shane sighing at his best mate's yelling , and he is a big guy so his sigh is pretty loud. So loud in fact that even Eve hears it and she comes hurtling down the steps.

"Why are you sighing now" She asks, rolling her eyes and winking at Claire. But Claire is kissing her hand, trying to see if she really kisses like a fish or not and Eve is blanked.

Eve is not happy. Shane isn't really answering her question. So she walks up to him, reaches up and smacks him upside the head. Shane falls down.

Michael screeches again, "I SAID WHERE IS MY DAMN BLOOD!"

Another sigh from Shane, another exasperated question from Eve and another blanking from Claire and _yet _another screeching from Michael asking about his blood, leaves the four inhabitants of the founder's Glass house very irritated and unhappy indeed.

So let's flashback and see what actually happened and why everyone is either being ignored, yelling, sighing or being told they kiss like a fish…

_Earlier that evening..._

Claire had just returned from Myrnin's lab and she was fuming. _Literally. _Eve was just coming down from the upper landing, and upon seeing Claire's burnt and singed clothing, she couldn't help but fall out in peels of raucous laughter. "Dare I ask?" Michael asked sarcastically from the door.

"He _kissed _me!" Claire hissed, swinging round to face Eve.

"Michael?" Eve asked, her irrational jealous mind jumping to conclusions. Michael only waggled his eyebrows at Claire who shows the finger to Michael. (He is not amused)

"_Myrnin! _He _kissed _me!" she said jumping up and down in indignation.

"And you are unhappy because…?" Eve asked, raising one perfect eyebrow.

"You _know _why! He kisses like an inexperienced imbecile who has no control over his raging hormones!" Claire all but shouted, waving her hands around as if that would explain things better.

"Who is an imbecile?" Claire's boyfriend, Shane, asked as he came in through the door.

"Don't you dare tell him." Claire growled. But of course if Eve actually listened to someone other than her own damn self, the occupants of the glass house wouldn't be at ends, at this moment in time.

"She kissed Myrnin," a gleeful Eve was pointing at a poor, seething Claire.

"I DID NOT!"

"DID TOO"

"NO!"

"YOU SAID IT YOURSELF!"

"LALALALALAA….I'm ignoring you now, you lying, cheating, good-for-nothing woman."

Shane glanced over at Michael and mouthed '_cheating?' _Michael just shrugged, apparently unperturbed that his girlfriend was being verbally attacked.

"Ah, but dear Claire, when has anyone's silence towards me ever stopped me from being a nuisance?" Michael watched as Claire gave a very undignified strangled shout and stamped her foot in frustration.

Shane sighed.

Everyone looked at him for a moment and he sighed again. "Will you quit sighing? Hello, trying to ignore someone here," Claire snapped at him.

"I'm hungry," Michael announced suddenly. "Who is supposed to be cooking?"

In support of female domination, Eve and Claire stood untied (momentarily) and pointed unforgiving fingers at Shane who…_sighed._

"Why does he keep doing that?" Eve asked, tapping her foot to a non-existent tune. Claire pointedly looked away, while Michael rubbed his stomach unhappily. Eve rolled her eyes and stomped upstairs.

Michael, sensing the very obvious romantic (excuse me this is _not _an M-rated scene) tension in the air, (even if the two lovers couldn't…) retreated into the kitchen to look for some blood leftovers. He usually had a bag or two in the freezer.

"Will you kiss me?" Claire simpered, batting her eyebrows. But unfortunately, they were so singed; it looked repulsive rather than endearing.

"Err…in a moment, I've got to make the dinner. How does chips and ketchup sound?"

Claire pouted. "That will take forever."

"I just got to fry them," Shane answered. Claire made a face at him and he _sighed _. "You're right it will take forever."

"Just get out the pizza from the freezer."

Shane went in and by that time, Michael had already left. Having found blood in a ketchup bottle in the freezer, Michael had left it there to have some after the meal. _What? He liked normal food._

Opening, the door, he got out the pizza and put it for defrosting in the microwave. Seeing the ketchup bottle he got that out too. However, upon opening, the stench was so acrid that Shane had to bottle it back up pretty quickly.

"I knew they use Pig's farts in manufacturing it…well it's got to be thrown away now, no use to anyone," Shane muttered to himself and the _sighed._

So Shane threw away the 'ketchup' bottle and pizza was served. No one bothered with calling Eve down. Usually Claire did it, but since she was ignoring Eve today…

After dinner, Claire and Shane found themselves on the sofa of the living room…making out.

Eve was still upstairs.

And Michel had just opened the freezer and found his blood…_gone._ He was incensed.

"WHERE IS MY BLOOD, YOU BLITHERING HUMANS?"

**A/N : So what did you think? Was it weird enough for you? Do Review.**

**-Vitzy-**


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